DO NOT READ THIS BOOK!

IT CONTAINS 13 OF THE SILLIEST TALES ME AND TERRY HAVE EVER TOLD.

TALES SO SILLY THEY COULD BREAK YOUR BRAIN*.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

PUT IT DOWN.

PUT IT DOWN NOW.

BY ORDER OF THE STORY POLICE.

*Unless you don’t have one, in which case please disregard this warning.

(Too silly to be told … UNTIL NOW!)

1. The Magic Wand
Terry finds a magic wand and uses it to turn me into a dog. But two can play at that game (and three if you count Jill!).

2. The Day We Put Chairs Up Our Noses
It’s Chair-Up-Your-Nose Day and we all put chairs up our noses … the problem is how to get them out again.

3. The Big Jump Jumping Contest
A jumping contest turns dangerous when Terry jumps a little bit—well, actually, a LOT—too high.

4. The Super-Duper Sucker-Upperer
Terry’s new invention for cleaning up the treehouse, the Super-Duper Sucker-Upperer goes out of control and sucks US up!

5. The Return of Professor Stupido
The world’s greatest UN-inventor, Professor Stupido (whom Terry and I tricked into UN-inventing himself in The 39-Storey Treehouse) UN-invents his own UN-invention and returns to annoy us yet again.

6. The Day Terry Flushed Me Down the Toilet
The title of this story tells you pretty much everything you need to know. (Especially that it was ALL TERRY’S FAULT!!!)

7. The Big Brain Blockage
Jill and I miniaturise ourselves and enter the terrifying world of Terry’s brain in order to clear a brain-blockage.

8. The Piano Surprise
Having a piano dropped on you can hurt a lot, unless you’re wearing an invisible falling-piano-proof-suit, in which case it can be a lot of FUN!

9. The Amazing Mind-Reading Sandwich-Making Machine
Our new amazing Mind-Reading Sandwich-Making Machine creates an amazing sandwich feast for everybody in the treehouse.

10. The Really Rainy Day
Terry and I liven up a really rainy day with a really fun—and quite violent—game of Let’s Pretend.

11. The Wishing Well
Terry learns to be careful for what he wishes for after wishing for 1000 banana-cream pies and getting them … but not in the way he expected.

12. The Secret Secret
Some secrets are too secret to share with anyone … unless they huff and puff and threaten to blow your treehouse down!

13. The Day the Shark Bit My Head Off
I think the title of this story pretty much gives the game away. The real question is, will I get my head back?