And in that bad, bad house,
There was a bad, bad room.
And in that bad, bad room,
There was a bad, bad cupboard.
And in that bad, bad cupboard,
There was a bad, bad shelf.
And on that bad, bad shelf,
There was a bad, bad box.
And in that bad, bad box,
There was a BAD, BAD book...
AND THIS IS IT!
Reviews
Brilliant. Exactly the sort of book children need. It teaches them to think outside the square. It teaches them childishness and creativity... and contains those qualities that move the world forward. Those who oppose it are stultified in their thinking. Professor John Lidstone, QUT Associate Professor of Education
It reminds me of my youth when my mates and I couldn’t wait to tune into the classic slapstick of Larry, Moe and Curly. Did they inspire us to poke each other’s eyes and pull each other’s noses? Possibly. Did it make us laugh and turn us on to the classic humour of Abbott and Costello, Buster Keaton and Chaplin? Absolutely! Will The Bad Book inspire more boys to check out authors of similar ilk, including Roald Dahl, Morris Gleitzman and Tim Winton? Certainly. Thank you, Andy Griffiths, for bringing humour into our lives and boys back into my library. Dean Banova, primary school teacher-librarian
Extract
Bad Jack Horner
Bad Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Pulling the wings off a fly.
He swore at his mum,
Kicked his dad in the bum
And said, ‘Oh, what a bad boy am I!’
Bad Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty spray-painted the wall
He covered it with his offensive scrawl.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Confiscated his spray-can
and smashed his head in.
Bad Diddle Diddle
Bad diddle diddle
The cat did a piddle
The cow did a poo on the moon.
The little dog barfed to see such fun
And then ate it all up with a spoon.
The Bad Ant
Once upon a time there was an ant. It looked like an ordinary ant, but it wasn’t. It was a bad ant.
And the bad ant went along the ground and came to a stick. And the bad ant went up the stick. And the bad ant went over the stick. And the bad ant went down the stick.
And the bad ant went along the ground and came to a bit of grass. And the bad ant went up the bit of grass. And the bad ant went over the bit of grass. And the bad ant went
down the bit of grass.
And then it stopped.
And then it started again.
And the bad ant went to Las Vegas, won ten million dollars and bought a red sportscar.
And the bad ant left Las Vegas and came to a stick. And the bad ant drove up the stick. And the bad ant drove over the stick. And the bad ant drove down the stick.
And the bad ant went along the ground and came to a pedestrian crossing and saw an old lady who had fallen over.
And the bad ant drove up the old lady. And the bad ant drove over the old lady. And the bad ant drove down the old lady.
And just as the bad ant was about to drive off along the road again, it heard the old lady cry out for help. And the bad ant turned around and drove back to the old lady, drove up the old lady and did wheelies on her head. Which wasn’t very nice. But not really surprising, because it was a bad ant. A very bad ant.
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